MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

This one is a rant. It's an observation as well, but it's mainly a rant.
 It's raining. Chucking it down. Obviously I'm wearing totally inappropriate clothes, as when I left for work it was lovely and Autumnal and now, eight hours later, it's Arctic, and rain is coming at me sideways. I'm worried about my suede boots. I'm rushing. I'm rushing to get out of my car and into my house whilst carrying a laptop, two flimsy bags of groceries, my handbag, and a large Christmas present that is made of glass. I want to do this in one journey, not just because there is a Tropical storm but because I have that in-built determination and bloody-mindedness that is synonymous with being a multi-tasking mother and wife. Everything must be done in as short a time as possible: it's like having an internal stop-watch. If I get out of the car and into the house in one go, hurl food into fridge, turn on oven, dump laptop on counter, rush to hide Christmas present, switch on heated rollers, run a bath I'll have enough time to make a tomato sauce for tomorrows lunch ( whilst watching the news) before going out to dinner.

A bedraggled young man who looked a bit like a fair-haired Clarke Kent hovered anxiously by my car. A tiny part of my brain thought he was going to offer to help me with my bags.
" Excuse me," he said politely. By this time I was out of the car, juggling my bags and getting soaked.
I had my car keys between my teeth and was kicking the car door closed. I think my glasses were at such a strange angle I probably looked like a female Eric Morcambe.
" Yes?" I muttered, my inner voice screaming " HURRY UP."
" I noticed you drove over the hump," he said, nervously fiddling with his coat.
" Really," I said.
" Yes. You were the third car I saw do that in the last twenty minutes."
" And?" I snapped impatiently.
" I don't think you're allowed to do that," he continued.
I dropped my keys from between my teeth onto the pavement.
" Says who?" I asked.
" I say," he said.
" And who are you? An undercover policeman or something?"
" No," he stammered. " I live nearby and I like everyone to observe rules."
And that's when I lost it.
" I suggest you get a life," I snarled. " Grow up, get a life and get inside. It's raining, it's the end of the day and unless you intend to grow up and have a career that allows you to arrest people, you need to mind your own business."
I staggered off towards my front door slightly nervous he might follow me.
" And for your information," I shouted, " A police car has just driven over your so-called cycle hump. You missed that one."
Live and let live I say. Especially when it's raining.